Violence

is a girl's best friend.

We already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass.

Scary Movie – 1.5/5

I will probably never be able to define the differences between why 'Not Another Teen Movie' is a successful movie to me, and this one is not. There's an energy that connects the jokes? The little jokes between the jokes? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯At the very least, I'm glad that NATM isn't filled with rape jokes. I did like all the gay jokes, though. Hey, there's something for everyone.

The lines of reality are very blurred in our business.

Mr. McMahon — 3.5/5

This often feels like a speed-run of wrestling history, and I motherfucking love a speed-run of wrestling history. Hoo-ha, let's go. But it's built a centerpiece around perhaps the most compelling figure in the whole business. Vince McMahon, the unreality machine. He'll lie and tell you he's lying without specifying which of the things he's said is the lie that he's told. And through a live, televised wrestling program, he's able to make wavy the lines. The more he goes out there and says "this isn't me, it's my character," the more obvious there's a line drawn straight down the center of the both of them, while it becomes harder and harder to point at the lie. Two realities exist on top of him at once. Both things are true, and not true. And you don't have a choice in what you accept, because he controls the whole enterprise; you either believe his version, or you're out. The world's biggest and strongest men and women held captive by the whims of one man. The power!

Thankfully, the wind.

Shogun — 3/5

There is a breed of content that is highly acclaimed, and so when you watch it, you have high expectations, and you watch it and you think it's fine, but there's something about it that makes you want to give it a higher rating. As if the problem is you, you think. I will push against this feeling. I think in the center, there is a streamlined show half in size, half in characters. In a society bound by rules, proper exercise of the rules will break it. "Their grip on power pried apart by just one frail human being. No weapon, no war machine." Love it, wonderful idea. "A Japanese period piece whose central climax revolves around a poetry contest." Yes, give me more. But around this wonderful idea, people we need not know, people we need not be exposed to. They make you think you're watching a larger thing, expansive, many seasons long; which in turn makes the wonderful idea at the center feel smaller. I think I might just be upset that this is a TV show instead of a movie?

We don't mourn the number of people;

we mourn the size of the bombs.

This

used to be a place.

If you enjoy it, come out.

Will & Harper — 4/5

There's a smallness to the movie that serves it well. Despite starring Will Ferrell, it never becomes as outsized as he makes himself out to be. He's still a buffoon, but quieter, reserved; sad. The movie felt like a true road trip: long stretches of not much happening, the threat of danger in an unknown place, and great conversations that can only be sparked on day 7 of an 8-day trip. Only by creating the familiarity of sitting next to someone for long stretches of hours can you then create the true conditions of saying goodbye, and the need to say what needs to be said before then. I don't think I got through the movie truly understanding the connection between Will and Harper in terms of conversation or similar comedic sensibilities, but you felt the love. A man loves his friend and wants to help her in the only way a famous actor knows how: by turning it into a movie. We can only use the tools we have.

Some of us fracture, others simply deform.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice — 2/5

Tim Burton has returned to form, and has forgotten what shape that was. Michael Keaton still has a spark, but he's buried beneath a messy little movie made of too many severed parts. First draft-ass movie. Lazy.

I love you! I need you! Help me!

Adam Sandler: Love You — 2.5/5

The Safdie Brother, whichever one, has infused this with a sense of falseness. I haven't been able to finish watching the last season of How To With John Wilson ever since I read that the stories aren't as true as they feel. I know comedy is a lie. I know that comedians lie. But I need the illusion. There's nothing Sandler says here that plays with truth or lies to then warrant the way the Brother handles it. Sandler may fit into his world, but the opposite does not serve as true.

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet.

Welcome to Wrexham, S3 — 3/5

I think in its latest season, it's become what it's always threatened to be: fine. Previous seasons have been able to avoid this by having one to two stellar episodes that seemed to bring all the stories together, highlighting the emotional underpinning of the whole endeavor. No such luck this time.

We'll have to do some terrible things. For the greater good.

The Boys S4 — 3/5

This show is best when it’s a cartoon. Homelander and Billy Butcher might be the truest representations of comic book bigness put into a small square. With their combination of personality and powers, there can be no claim to them existing in the real world (while traipsing around in real world analogues). It’s real life, imagined anew, and what fun it is to see imagination run amok. They also might be the truest live-action representation of Garth Ennis as a writer. In the “perpetual second act” of serialized comic book stories that will never end, he is one of the most capable people I’ve read in the form who realize that comics aren’t about the endings, but about the moments. You’re not building up to a conclusion; you’re building up to a character moment. A person saying or doing something that feels true to the character, either exposing them or destroying what we think of them. It feels small when written out but trust me when I say that these are the things I live for. I probably love more single panels than I do any single issue. Combine that with his dislike of superheroes and his desire to push you away with his crudeness, and you have this show. It feels like him. If you can get over the disgusting little bits, it gives you a reward. I think season 3 ended with a great build-up and reward, and the problems with season 4 amount to having to start all over again back at ground level. I spent most of the season waiting for the build-up, and then I got excited all over again for the next season. There are few better moments on TV than the glint of inspiration in Billy’s eyes, or the sudden shift of Homelander’s quickly fading facade. The characters meet the moments. And I can’t wait to see those two big cartoons fight. On the other hand, the show is at its worst with everyone else, scrambling to find purpose when we only really care about the two people who will inevitably meet in the final issue to finish it off.

What kind of human being would I be if I did that?

The Faculty — 2.5/5

I watched this because I read an article about how cool Josh Hartnett was. I agree. He was very cool. He's very much in control of his body. He knows how he looks onscreen. The movie is whatever. It had potential to tell some clever, multi-layered story, but it's only just aliens taking over a high school. Fine at that.

A convenient idiot.

Confess, Fletch — 2.5/5

I don't even remember watching the original 'Fletch,' but I remember not loving it. Even so, every time Jon Hamm spoke, I imagined it coming better from Chevy Chase. There's an arrogance to these clever sorts of detectives and, imagining Chevy Chase, it's a particular type of arrogance that he provides. He knows everything and, if he knows it, it's below him. It's a punchable characteristic, and who doesn't want to punch Chevy Chase? Jon Hamm, I don't want to punch him so much. He's lovable. I really like the guy and I think he's a stellar natural comedian, but he hasn't figured out how to be most himself on screen. He's forcing himself into Fletch and it's not his skin. But, even so, there's a light breeze running through this thing that makes it easily watchable, even as it can't keep up with its mystery. It's the small charm you would have hoped for with something like 'Hit Man.'

Go until you can't go no more.

Shoresy S3 — 4/5

The show continues its pace and I think I'm at a point where I retroactively like the previous seasons more than I graded them at the time. I think the closest comparison is James Gun's work in 'Guardians of the Galaxy.' There's a shit-ass with a big heart in the middle. Casual characters burdened with glorious purpose, which separates Shoresy from his Letterkenny roots. Like Letterkenny, it's a world outside my own that I am being invited into (as unwelcoming as it seems). Unlike Letterkenny, it doesn't seem to have a problem with progressing beyond even that. I'm excited to see where it goes.

God's perfect idiot.

Deadpool & Wolverine — 3.5/5

I think Ryan Reynolds' greatest weakness is an unlimited supply of money. Money means you don't need to draw straight lines. Money means you can explore every idea in your head, with no need to dot a linear path between them. I enjoyed this movie, but I can't deny that it is filled with excess. Every idea in here feels like he did it because he could get away with it. As such, it starts to feel like Fan Service: The Movie. And listen, I'm a fucking fan, so some of this shit was a cupid's arrow into my heart. But a lot of it feels like an easy cheer for an easy audience. Why is he dancing to N'Sync's 'Bye Bye Bye' within a fight scene aside from the fact that he could afford it? And it's unfortunate, because there's so much fun to be had here! Cassandra Nova is a genuinely great villain!! The performance surprising enough to make me an Emma Corrin fan for life. She carries psycho with a smile (similar to but different from Antony Starr as Homelander in 'The Boys'). A few rewrites and they could have made her the focus rather than the 40m of excess deviations that led us to her. TVA is narrative bloat, English Tom Wambsgans never really takes off, the Avengers interview is just... off.  I appreciate Ryan Reynolds infusing each of these Deadpool movies with an emotional core, but this one felt wasteful, thrown aside, disconnected. It had to rely on Laura because Vanessa didn't really have a purpose here. I think Ryan Reynolds always comes across with an air of desperation to everything he does ("please like me!!"), and I think that desperation is actually his greatest strength. In Deadpool 1, there was a desperation to succeed within guidelines of a limited supply of money and support, and he blew it out of the water. He earned the right to not have a master telling him what to do. But, I think for these movies to continue to succeed, he needs to figure out how to give himself a boss.