Eternal life or a catfish sandwich.

Rebel Ridge — 3/5

At around the 35-minute mark, I was fucking PUMPED. That excitement kept me holding on for the next hour and a half, edge of my seat, but it also never meets the magic of that minute mark. I thought I was in for some Jean-Claude shit. But nah, it's one of those 2010s action movies that would rather be an intellectual thriller than a face-puncher. The movie gets bogged down in its true-to-life legalese, and when we finally get back to the action, it's not exactly the action we were promised an hour and a half earlier. Even so, I will respect the movie on a very specific boundary: no killing. I always admired the first 3/4s of 'The Rundown" because here was an action figure who disliked guns, only to have him go on a bullet-fueled rampage in the final quarter. Here, the character stays consistent to his code.

Under different circumstances, you and I probably still would have hated each other!

Midnight Run — 3/5

I finally got around to this. Yay! It's 'Planes, Trains, and Automobiles' with a bounty hunter, and I think I generally prefer it to that movie. But I also don't know what totally to make of it. Charles Grodin's got a sweet, annoying charm that the movie wisely shows only in small doses. De Niro is... pretty generic? Aside from peppering sentences with cuss words, he could have been anyone. The soundtrack to the movie says we're in for an adventure, and it manages to confuse the tone of the movie. Sometimes drama, sometimes comedy, only so-so at either of them—but always the same fucking soundtrack. But, even so, a light charm runs through the whole thing, held together by a soundtrack that says we're in for an adventure, and all the familiar character actors that form the outline of the movie.

I rule me.

Smile 2 – 4/5

I can't wholly say it's quite as good as its forebear, but boy oh boy does it have fun with the world that's been created. Naomi Scott is an absolute revelation in the role, from wearing the role of pop star authentically (arguably one of the harder acting roles anyone can ever do?) to the ability to say 'fuck!' in every variation of the word. From what I can remember from 1, I saw it to be about how trauma never leaves you, no matter how hard you try, and here the same but more focused on how no one quite believes what you're going through. It's a disease that isolates you. We all experience it, but totally alone. They don't recognize you—and you don't recognize yourself from the person you were just yesterday. So keep moving forward, keep smiling through the pain. "It gets better." (Maybe.) Beyond that, Parker Finn takes the premise to a bigger place by simply having fun. The gore is scarier, the monster is more ridiculous, the trauma is a dance routine!!!, the final death in front of all those people. Chef's kiss.

Are they terrified of unobscured and brilliant colours?

Conclave — 4/5

I never knew how much I wanted to see how the conclave process worked! It's all petty politics with the most virtuous people on earth!! Entertaining to enter this world of rituals, and there is a light humor that runs through this thing which almost makes me think it could have gone full Armando Iannucci. I feel reluctant to mention the twist, but also of course it's hard to discuss the movie without talking about it. So proceed cautiously. I think, in essence, the movie is the best pro-trans movie to exist. Not hitting you over the head with the message, but just laying it casually at your feet, within the language of the movie. God's designs, God's rules. If you believe It infallible, how can you call Its creation flawed?

We never always saw eye to eye

but we were always looking at the same thing.

—Faulkner, on his line editor Saxe Commins

But I also felt disappointed in myself,

for not being able to entertain the possibility of stranger and more wonderful things on earth.

—Imogen West-Knights, Three days with the true believers who won’t let Bigfoot die

And I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't.

Get Him To The Greek — 3.5/5 (rewatch)

I fondly remembered this movie, and upon revisiting it, I maybe can still see it but it's harder to make out. Russell Brand then was something new, and Jonah Hill not yet something more clearly defined, anxiety bouncing against chaos. It's a mixture of fun and pathos; that little bit of sadness that infused all those Judd Apatow movies at the time. It's still funny, just no longer compelling. I think all the anxiety bothered me this time around.

Who's been messing up everything?

Agatha All Along — 1.5/5

It started off with what seemed like a playful idea—as WandaVision explored old sitcom aesthetic, this show might explore genre television. But that didn't happen! And whatever did happen was fucking dumb. Agatha's inconsistency can be mistaken for intentional (chaos being) but I think it's just an excuse. Aubrey Plaza's Rio is fun until it stopped making sense. This set of people set together never settle into place. There was one episode which was genuinely good? People seem to like the other episodes as well? The fuck is wrong with you all? I throw my hands up. I don't think it's worth trying to understand the divide. It's just people making up their own mythos to fill in the gaping holes. Which I guess is how mythology works in the first place? New song's good, though.

If we want people to reveal themselves,

we have to be willing to forgive them for who they are.

There are a lot of things more dangerous than a wounded animal. A healthy animal, for starters.

Dora and the Lost City of Gold — 4/5 (rewatch)

I fucking love this movie. Isabel Merced comes across as so genuinely sincere throughout the entire movie. The movie is in many ways a giant wink, playing with whatever Dora is known for in ways I'd have no real clue about, but she never once blinks, and the movie works around her as everyone plays the audience surrogate and squints their eyes at her to wonder if she's real. She is! And they couple her with some 'Easy A'-sized parents!! I fucking love great movie parents. It's my Superman syndrome. "Kindly couple," not "last son of Krypton," being the true origin of Superman's beatitude. And so, too, Dora's.

I couldn't wait 'til I got home, to pass the time in my room alone.

The Remarkable Life of Ibelin — 3/5

Tearjerker (derogatory). Why is it derogatory??? I don't know, man. This thing made me cry and then that crying made me feel like it wasn't deserving. What was missing? Shit, I dunno. It reminds me of my own time growing up online, and the people there who helped me grow beyond what I thought I was capable of. But I don't know why that would disconnect me from the story. It's sad that his body fell apart? It's great that he was able to find a world where that didn't matter? I suppose I was waiting for those two worlds to come together. But, you know—death.

This is church.

Somebody Somewhere S1 — 4/5

The series comes out with a banger of a first episode, and then somewhat struggles to maintain that high. But within that struggle, it remains incredibly watchable due to the incredible pair at the center. Bridget Everett sometimes strains within either who her character is, or the ability to bring it to life, but there's something about her worth paying attention to as the series' highs rest on her shoulders. Meanwhile, Jeff Hiller is a star, fully formed. He could easily have been a Jack McBrayer caricature (non-derogatory), but he feels like a true-to-life weirdo, happiness and sadness (or happiness through sadness) encompassing his being. They're at the center, and that center is shaped with an incredible sense of joy. The joy of friendship, of people who enjoy being around each other, and are enhanced by being around each other and are blessed to have found each other. That joy then spreading around to others who they invite into their congregation. The last episode manages to return to the high of that first episode and cements what I believe the show to be about—"This is church." A place for the unwashed masses to gather, without judgement. Finding a place within the no-place of existence, if just for an hour here or there. A place to worship each other. It's church, it's a bar, it's a park, it's your best friend's apartment on Friday nights.

Hillbillies with a Youtube channel.

Twisters — 3/5

Man, first 15m is banger. People who get along, getting sucked up into a twister. And THEN, the next hour or so is a banger. People who don't get along, trying to get their ass sucked into a ternader. Daisy Edgar-Jones vacillates easily from happy girl to sad girl to sassy girl, and they all seem to form a 3-dimensional view of the character—and she's got genuine chemistry with Glen Powell. Glen Powell—I get him! His whole meta-narrative is tied up in "this guy wants to be a movie star" and the characters he plays best fit within that meta-narrative, if you were to define "movie star" as "fully-formed persona." Clark Gable is who he is. Cary Grant is who he is. Glen Powell is who he is. Less concerned with growth, and more about grown into who they want to be, and are comfortable with the cracks that show. The sexlessness of Tom Cruise tied up in the Yankee-acceptable redneck cowboy persona of Burt Reynolds (though less likely to verbally or physically abuse his partners). More in the realm of pop-country. He works best in this, and Everybody Wants Some! and Top Gun: Maverick for all those reasons, and worse off in movies like Hit Man, which is him trying to be a fucking actor. Complexity doesn't suit him. And, unfortunately for him, that desire for complexity starts to seep into the movie. As soon as he shows up at Daisy's hotel door, the movie turns sour, trying to form a Jacob-Edward-Bella three-way race for affection, trying to create sexual tension out of thin air, making enemies out of the wrong people. It gets all turned around and can't straighten itself out again. Sucks, cuz it's a banger of an action movie up until then.

Forever

came too soon.

Sorry. He's a degenerate, you know.

Hooper - 3.5/5

To the point of 'newness,' and the failure of 'The Fall Guy' to become something bigger than it was, 'Hooper' illustrates something that movie didn't have: a culture of stunt-people. A world inside our own that we had not known before. Though TFG existed within that society, it built its world on a mystery-to-be-solved and a romance-to-be-resolved, while Hooper is down in the mud with the people. It builds a world of not necessarily Southern people, but a Southern mentality which was embodied in Burt Reynolds. Get in trouble, have fun, hurt yourself, help your friends. They're assholes to everyone outside their ring, and to everyone inside their corner; the only difference that they've become your asshole, and you've earned your place beside them. It's a world, I think, that hasn't existed for thirty-some years, since Burt Reynolds fell off the scene. The moonshiners, the honky-tonkers, the people on the sidelines, no greater purpose to their lives than just having a beer and a laugh. The movie upends this towards the end, trying to build to drama, but it wasn't built to handle it well. At least it knows it? The wink at the end says it all: "You had fun, didn't you?" I did. As it is, it's movie-as-window into another world, one I'd happily visit again.