Friday, May 17, 2024

Legally, I can't touch them. But illegally, I'm happy to do whatever you guys want.

Wonka — 2.5/5

Paul King has created his own genre, which I will call Sallie Hawkins. Smiles so big that it looks painful. Cheery, but oppressed. Everything's colorful, but brown. Like Paddington 2, it's better than it has any right to be. But then it's good enough to then want it to be better.  If you squint, you could see Gene Wilder making the most of some of these line deliveries; it's all just how much insanity you put behind the eyes. But Chalamet's Wonka is full musical theater kid, insane in all the insufferable ways. But still, likeable enough. The movie plays Wonka more like Mary Poppins than mischievous trickster god, coming in to sweep away the dust of unused lives. Unfortunately, that larger cast is largely lifeless. Only a small handful of people are singing the same song. Had I been there to stop them, I'd suggest they not make it a musical at all. But they've yet to give me meaningful power so I'll just offer on the back-end that the songs, for one, weren't necessary, and two, sucked ass. Still, I could see this being an easy re-watch. Decent enough that I don't mind not having to pay attention.

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