Monday, October 13, 2025

You want to fight? Or you want to win?

Andor S2 — 3.5/5

Rogue One (re-watch)— 2.5/5 

Man, it feels like I just watched six seasons of television!! It shoots across four years of life in little three-episode arcs, and the result is a feeling of largeness – to its benefit, and also leaving it not entirely able to carry the weight of the world and its many spinning plates. To the subject of benefit — season 2, like 1, builds up an entire world of characters who aren't Jedis or weirdly-shaped creatures. Top-to-bottom great casting, set design, and tone that set it side-to-side with the Star Wars universe and, as with season 1, proves that there's just as much fun with manipulation and political intrigue as there is with fighting. It feels like the dream of the prequels come to life: a story about senators and issuances of orders and back-channeling as fodder for compelling television! The show's greatest strength, even, is that it makes me want to go back and revisit those prequels, and 'Rogue One,' for which this show serves as a lead-in. Unfortunately, I did that, at least in part, and 'Rogue One' sucks absolute shit. And I think, regrettably, that that little follow-up re-watch will color this review of the show. Never have I so clearly remembered my previous criticism of a movie while watching it and experiencing the same criticism all over again, beat by beat. A fun plot, cool names, beautiful scenery, and characters that immediately register as characters — and absolutely no relationship between them. Who is Andor to Erso? Who is the pilot to the Force bois? Why are they there? What purpose do they serve? They're all Chekhov's gun, minus a basic understanding of Chekhov's gun. It's Zack Snyder-esque 'cool aesthetics as reason enough.' For example: Force Boi 1 dies, leaving with 2 a message of the Force, which 2 takes on, only to die uselessly, in no way relevant to the Force. Okay, awesome. For example: The pilot, repeatedly reminded that he is a pilot, dies while trying to put a wire into a plug instead of, I don't know, flying up there to destroy the signal-blocker. For example: Let's give Cassian and Erso romantic tension, for no reason whatsofuckingever other than that they are both attractive. And, excuse the pettiness of bringing this up, but Grand Moff Tarkin and Princess Leia's unnecessary CGI-ness enrages me all over again, tantamount to seeing Fred Astaire dance with a Dirt Devil. I've stated before that I get upset when things are so close to being good and here, the first time you see Grand Moff Tarkin, he's reflected in a window. It's great. It works. Seeing Princess Leia from behind? It works. And the movie has them turn around and face the screen and jesus christ it looks so fucking dumb. You were so close. You had the characters, you had the plot, you just needed to connect them together. Which, going back to the purpose of Andor the show existing — I think the idea behind this show is great! Take a character from a movie who is hardly fleshed out, and give them flesh; dramas, motivations, characterization. A theoretical outcome of that is, when then we are to see them again in that original movie, it makes that movie better; it has given them a weight that you then take with you. In theory. But the problem of the movie ends up being the problem of the show — he's just a guy who goes from place to place, arguing for control of his life and ceding it at every turn. There's not much there to him. And so the show is stuck trying to give internal thoughts and feelings to someone who needs to line up to our first impression in 'Rogue One.' The show's answer to this is to leave Andor as mostly an interior character, surrounding him with people who are trying to pull him in or out. To middling success. As such, the show's at it's best when it has anything to do with anyone other than Andor. By a wide mile, this show is a better show about political intrigue and the nips and tucks of morality that lead to a better world. More pointedly, this is a better show about Luthen. The largeness of the show works in his favor, seeing all the decisions he believed to be right play out in both directions. Cassian then just becomes an excuse to tether a more interesting story around. Which is fine! You go get that story, girl! But, similar to my criticism of 'Furiosa,' the desire to go right to the edge of when the original starts hamstrings it. And it's better if you just stop there instead of revisiting 'Rogue One' because otherwise that movie just serves as a very mediocre series finale to a show deserving of more. 

Oh and Dedra Meero is a delight and the song playing over Brasso's death is a banger.

Friday, September 19, 2025

Your life is over. But not in a bad way.

Catastrophe S3 + S4 — 2.5/5

I struggle with this show. I think it's got very likeable leads, and I'm probably going to get excited when I see Rob Delaney in anything moving forward, but also this show reminds me of people I know, and a relationship dynamic that I'm frankly not a huge fan of. I wish the show were a bit more 'both people are toxic,' but I feel like the larger toxicity falls on the woman's shoulders. Not to say the man is perfect, but he seems to be trying to improve, or seems to be gracious in compromise. And it's not to say the woman is awful, but more that she (...and he...) can be a pile of needles, and they never will tell you exactly where the needles are on their body when you touch them. Good luck navigating that. The ending of the show, while nice and poetically vague, makes me feel like it's saying 'most marriages are to swim in dangerous waters'... and I don't disagree with that in totality... but the struggle with watching the show is that when they're good together, they're great, and when they're bad, they're awful. And yes, the sex is good. But I wouldn't pay that in trade. I wish the show had bit more of an outsider character to look in on them, to give them a model of what a good relationship can be, because it all starts to feel like staring at the abyss and are you holding hands as you descend, or are you dragging the other person down as you fall deeper?

Thursday, September 18, 2025

Habitual

toe-steppers.

Tuesday, September 16, 2025

It only happens if it doesn't matter.

Wristcutters: A Love Story — 3/5

A great companion piece to 'Adventureland' in that both movies are essentially the same type of movie and approximately the same level of good, except this one's way better. It's biggest departure is being shoddily made, but soon enough you buy into it as part of its charm. It drops you in quickly to a new world and just expects you to keep up. It feels like a somewhat-parody of 'Everything is Illuminated' in that somebody looked at that movie and said 'I think I can make it better.' Like 'Adventureland', it's mostly a mood movie but, unlike 'Adventureland', it ladders up into an emotional catharsis that extends beyond a simple chemical connection. It went in with a point to be made. 

Monday, September 15, 2025

Guys can be shitty and women can't.

Adventureland — 2.5/5

A moodboard and that's all. I want it to be some vintage throwback to a John Hughes era, but relationships come too easy, and fall apart too easy, and come back together too easy. Jesse Eisenberg has shades of John Cusack in 'High Fidelity,' namely in "how does an average guy like me become the number one lover man in his particular postal district?" But whereas one is John Cusack, the other is Jesse Eisenberg. There's something about his character that doesn't hit the correct note. Kristin Stewart, like Winona Ryder, is often not a great actress, but unique and compelling in her way. But there is chemistry between the two, and the makings of a better movie somewhere in here. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Please, God, don't let me fall in love and want to do disgusting things.

Mermaids — 4/5

Every person here is a fucking star. It radiates charm. I didn't know Christina Ricci was in anything before Addam's Family, but the exact quality you saw there is present here in a much younger version of her. Winona Ryder is often not a great actress, but the way in which she is not a great actress is totally unique and compelling, with bursts of great acting. Cher's role is exactly what you think of Cher the person when you close your eyes. And Bob Hoskins' Lou Landsky is one of my favorite comedic portrayals. I see in him an actor who doesn't exist anymore, in how he seems to be a throwback to an even older time of silent film comedians. He has such control over his face and hands. He feels like a cartoon, and so when he's also capable of hitting the dramatic beats, it throws you off and makes you realize how this short weird-looking man ended up being given the star vehicles he was given. The movie is based on a novel and it's got that feeling, jumping around and maybe missing some key plot or thematic ingredients, but the imperfections—as they do—add to the lightness and overall joy of watching it. On a list of perfectly cast films.

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Where did you go?

Weapons — 2.5/5

I went into this mostly blind except for the hype, and I can't tell if the hype dampened this, but this movie is very fine. It's a spiritual successor to 'Hereditary' and, like that movie, doesn't have a clear 'about,' but that movie is centered around incredible centralizing performances and a genuine sense of not knowing what the fuck is going on. It had a mood! This movie has a bunch of people, none of whom I am sure is the main character, and some of which I'm not sure are relevant as characters at all. I think the 'it's actually about school shootings' thing is interesting, but then when I read that Zach Cregger doesn't know why he put that gun into the dream sequence and well that just throws that off, yeah? My problem with this movie is that it feels like it wants to be more than it is, but it doesn't know what that is. 

Friday, September 5, 2025

I'm sure it's fun to be the guy.

A Complete Unknown – 2.5/5

Title sums it up. You are no deeper to understand Bob Dylan coming out of the movie as going in. The movie often just wants to be a museum-quality re-creation of great songs, but it, or Dylan, are unable to give meaning to the songs beyond the songs. It's a showcase film for a preternaturally gifted songwriter who is condemned by his own talent to pull from and be trapped in some deep internal place. And I think the movie wants me to think he is some great rebel, but I just kind of see him as someone who can easily break a thing that other people have built, because it is easy for him to do so. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

All our endeavors are as nothing.

The House of the Dragon, Season 2 — 2/5

The show continues to form itself around its strongest weakness from season 2, which is that Alicent and Rhaenyra are people in power but totally powerless. Who the fuck are these people other than people set on a path? Rhaenyra is a queen-in-waiting and a queen-in-wanting but has no discernible queen-like ability other than she looks like a queen, doesn't she? She's got a dragon and fancy clothes and white hair and she talks seriously. Man, this show suffered a loss when Milly Alcock left this show, because Emma D'Arcy can bring nothing to this character that the writers have failed to give her. So, as with the end of season 2, the interest is in other characters who at least have a personality. Aegon is an idiot king, and Aemond is a vile king, and they are both eminently watchable as they at least and at last spur events into motion. Any time they're on screen, there are sparks, but the show then organizes its time on its principals: Daemon, who is increasingly pathetic and useless; Rhaenyra, who is all the things I've said, a door jamb in which more interesting things can revolve around; and Alicent, who at least carries some consistency in character... but consistency doesn't make for a compelling reason to watch. At the end of season 1, I was excited to see what happens next. At the end of season 2, I can't wait for it to be over. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

She had a bottom that would make any toilet beg for the brown.

The Naked Gun (2025) — 2.5/5

Went into this mostly against my desire, as the trailers mostly sucked and I hate Seth Macfarlane, but then here I was laughing at jokes. Quelle horreur. The mentality of people I'd talked to is 'not every joke lands, but they keep coming so they don't give you time to dwell on the bad ones' which is a mentality I sort of fucking hate, a 'Family Guy' mentality, but, sigh, they ain't wrong. It keeps moving, and some jokes landed and some jokes didn't, and in between, there's a general affability from Liam Neeson's commitment to the role that creates forgivability, something 'Family Guy' never engenders because all of its characters are fucking awful. All in all, it's not a great movie, but it's got a something to it. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

I am an appetite, nothing more.

Nosferatu (2024) — 3.5/5

It's most definitely my favorite of Eggers' movies because I think there's an undercurrent of humor to the whole affair. The high foreheads and high drama is all just a bit silly, isn't it? Beyond that, I waited too long between watching and writing down my thoughts so I've mostly forgotten the details, but I recall appreciating that this movie is about women fucking, and for me this movie is part of a larger theme of modern horror movies that I love where the monster is some aspect of shame; this time of having experienced orgasmic pleasure and the indignity of liking it. Nosferatu is la petite mort, writ large. 

Monday, August 25, 2025

I want to feel everything for as long as I can.

Dying For Sex (limited series) — 4/5

Weird takeaway, but it makes me feel the beauty in dying slow. And then a couple of days later I got a headache that lasted all day and man, what a stupid thing to think. So I'll dial that back and say that yes, I can see there is beauty within dying slow, and the show illustrates that wonderfully, but no, God, if you're listening, I'm not sure I'd like that for myself. Though its exploration of sex wants to be a 50/50 split between itself and death, death is what the show excels at, taking you through the process of a body and mind practicing its cessation of existence. And, similar to 'Fleishman Is in Trouble', feels like the show successfully makes you think the show is about one person only to reveal it's about the other person as well. Jenny Slater seemed like a supporting actress in the Judy Greer mold (lovable, happy to see her in anything), but she grows to be the second lead, and her life, like the dying girl's, is put on pause. Love stories about friendships are my favorite love stories. Michelle Williams is adorable, and I'm sorry she has to die, but what a way to go and thank you for taking me with you. And though I haven't finished 'Catastrophe' yet, I hope Rob Delaney's character ends in divorce so that this can be a pseudo-sequel to that show.

The order of things.

House of the Dragon S1 — 3.5/5

Were I not watching this for work, I would not have watched it, as the idea of a prequel two hundred years before a foregone conclusion gives me little to concern myself. How pleasantly surprised am I, then. The show, just as Game of Thrones did so well, has cast interesting actors as interesting characters, and very quickly I'm sucked back in to the scheming. Milly Alcock, particularly, is almost unreadable as an actress; seemingly sincere, a liar, a sweet thing, or a deviant, based on the turn of the light. The show loses something to focus on when it loses her, but it then pivots to being about the everything and all of it, distracting you with new characters and allegiances. On the whole, those characters are characters that are quickly formed, but as far as the central duo, I honestly can't tell what the show wants me to think of them. Are they vile powermongers, or just the unfortunate people caught up in it all? There's fun to be had in that lack of surety, but it mostly just makes me care about anyone else more than them. 

Monday, August 18, 2025

Not the fault of any one driver per se.

Death of a Unicorn — 2/5

Fun concept that doesn't have a tonality to match. I've grown to believe Paul Rudd is a bad actor outside of a very niche form of comedic acting. I pretty much hate him when he tries to be serious, as I can never take him as such.

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Now that you know this,

what will you do?