A Fish Called Wanda — 1/5
I find the whole thing mean-spirited. Stutter jokes, gay jokes, everyone lies to each other. Does this make me a prude? I've always held Kevin Kline up to be an actor I enjoy, but this movie makes me wonder if I only want to like him.
Somebody Somewhere S3 — 3.5/5
As Sam grows, the show grows less interesting. Sam is often left alone, left by herself to navigate the world. She wants to live in a world without romantic love, which is difficult when that's the world everyone else wants to live in. As Sam's entourage gets busier with seeking the other parts of their selves, they leave her behind—and there's a difference in choosing to be alone, and being left alone. And that second option only comes into being when you introduce people into your life. By the time she finds someone, I can't tell if it's because she wants to, or because she has no other choice but to give in. The show, at its best, is about the gentle pull of friends into a wider world, and this season felt more like a shove. That's also necessary, but in this final season as with the last season, the show separates us from the chemistry that makes the show spark. Eh, I'm nitpicking. I believe the best compliment to give someone is to miss them when they're gone, and I will now miss this show now that it's come into my life and gone.
Squid Game S3 — 4/5
What a fun show to watch!! I think what the games allow for, more than a typical drama, is for you to explore the extremes of a person very quickly. Most entertainment work up towards scenes of catharsis, of character exegesis, and here they are, thrown into intense situations where they must quickly reveal who they are. Desperate, afraid, coward, decent, awful. And still more of them to discover in the rollout from there, confronted now with those things. The first couple of episodes of the show, I was worried that it couldn't retain the highs from season 1. Gi-hun does that thing that I fucking hate which is a character you love becomes dramatically different the next time you see them. Usually you see it in kids aged up, like in Slumdog Millionaire or Cinema Paradiso, the latter half of the movie showing young men with only a faint outline of the previous version you once loved. Here, similarly, he's dark and depressed, far removed from the desperate silliness he once was. But, while the show spends maybe too much time trying to find the island, once there it quickly enough introduces new people to surround him, each unique and interesting, and in only 7 episodes manages to successfully build a new world atop the old one.
Wicked — 3.5/5
A perfect 3.5/5 movie. Very flawed, but with extreme highs that make for great repeat background viewing. It's highs: Ariana's a gifted physical actress, and the handful of songs that really pop. The flaws: nothing wrong with Cynthia's performance, but Elphaba is a boring character. She's only interesting in everyone's reactions to her. In trying to pinpoint why she's boring, I think it's this: she doesn't change. In the beginning, she's a strong character. At the end, she is the same person she was then. The movie tries to make her feel bad for who she is, but she never shows anything but strength and resilience, even if just spite. The movie, briefly, tries to change her to make her more popular, but as soon as that four minute song is over, her love interest tells her she doesn't need to change. Okay! Thanks! It's a movie about acceptance, and movies about acceptance aren't about how the main character changes, it's about how everyone around them changes. Ahhhh! It was us all along! I understand why people get attached to notions like that—the world is wrong, not me. They're not wrong! But also, maybe, they're not right. And the curse of life is that you will never know which is true. The story and the music don't tell the story of Elphaba being pushed down, and thus needing to retreat from herself. But it needs that in order for the final number to work on an emotional level. The ending—the song drawn out to a dramatic 15 minutes—is a sequence that I both love, and also doesn't work dramatically. She has to have felt the weight of gravity dragging her down before she can, uh, you know.
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I WILL ALSO ADD that, top to bottom, the original Wizard of Oz is filled with characters. Not just people who look funny, but who seem to be peculiar to their core. Here, it's funny costumes and hairdos that are made to do the work of creating a character.
Somebody Somewhere S2 — 4/5
This show always hints at a wider world—who is Holly, where did Sam go before she came back—and while they are tantalizing mysteries, the show has zero interest in exploring them. I like that about the show! It becomes about the low-stakes gambles of day-to-day life, the easy chemistry of hanging out. It's the difference between calling up a friend and asking them to tell you everything they've been up to the past six years (and them not knowing where to start), and just wondering what they're up to today. Things will reveal themselves in pieces until eventually it forms a whole. It's casually funny and it's sad in a way that sneaks up on you. And the show, for drama's sake, feels the need to break your heart. I love when a piece of art builds up a point (friendship can save us)
only then to undo that point (one person alone isn't enough to fill the
god-sized hole), and this season worked towards those purposes. However,
core to that attempt is breaking up the foundation of the show, which
is the incredible chemistry between Sam and Joel—and thus, in parts, the
show loses the true spark of why it's special. But in her hurt, you see Sam grow, because change is the only way to keep from losing something this beautiful.
Shrinking S2 — 3.5/5
Man, as much as I want to push against it, I fucking love Bill Lawrence's brand of schmaltz. Everything works out well for everyone! If we only made room for new people, they can expand our heart. How lovely. This season, Ted McGinley's Derek stood out as the center of the show. Always genial, always understanding. He is an everyday version of Jason Segal's Jimmy—not forcing people out of their shell, but gently coaxing, pushing here and there, a casual introduction, a piece of advice. If everyone had a Derek, they wouldn't need a therapist. Extending outwards from there, the larger cast continues to come into their own, and it's particularly become a joy to watch Harrison Ford look like he actually enjoys being there.
Hundreds of Beavers — 3.5/5
I don't know if I like this movie as much as I admire it. It's so fucking silly, and the force of mind to create something so silly, so throwback, so borderless—and to do it for the length of an entire movie—is a force I admire. I will admit that I got tired of some of the hijinx, in the same way I might have tired of Bugs Bunny beyond a 10 minute segment, but the movie kept me watching out of pure appreciation for what they were doing, and then I was rewarded with a final 20 minute set piece that kept escalating the silliness further and further until I, finally, was able to give in to it totally. It feels bold to claim that a movie with a 1920s sensibility can exist and prosper in a modern climate, and here it is! All art from all time is still applicable. Glory be.
Batman Forever — 3/5 (rewatch)
I left the theater when I was 12 years old thinking this was my favorite Batman, and cultural commentary from the schoolyard indicated to me that that was the wrong opinion to have. Here, now, retribution. If you can go full in, embracing Joel Schumacher's 1930's serial vision: it's stupid, and it's fun. This is a fun movie. It's built like an amusement ride and serves its purposes to that end. It, like Mortal Kombat, is the boyhood id, separated from the need to make it worthwhile for adults as well. Why do we like our Batman serious? Because we are adults, and adulthood is for serious people who need to rationalize their childhood interests. It's not a great movie, but it is a playground brawl, smooshing action figures together to see who comes out on top, each figure clearly articulated. Val Kilmer's got the lips, Riddler's got the costumes, Chris O'Donnell's got an earring. Everyone plays their part, though notably I'll call out Tommy Lee Jones for the thing that works the least. He's having fun—the point of the movie—but conveying fun isn't just laughing maniacally; it's taking the role seriously. As anyone who plays with kids knows—childhood games are serious business.
Juror #2 — 2/5
Once again, I am here to tell the American people that their opinion is wrong. What is the fucking interest in this movie, holy shit. Compelling story synopsis, to be sure, but what lack of artfulness in its creation. No tension, bland performances on top of thin characters, no case to be made for a person's worth or lack thereof. This movie is a surprise to people who haven't watched the past 20 years of Law and Order so think they've found something novel. It's a fun movie to watch and say 'oh, what would you have done?' and I would suggest you go do that instead. Or go instead watch the much superior 'Paranoid Park.' All apologies to Toni Collette and Nicholas Hoult who I continue to enjoy 🙏
Problemista — 2.5/5
Based on one episode of Fantasmas, I like Julio Torres and want him to succeed. He feels like a hole that's been punched into comedy, tumblr absurdity finally with its chance to go mainstream. This movie, though, makes me feel like I would hate working with him. He's a millennial employee, in love with their own ideas; a work ethic that knows its good and therefore can be lazy about it.
Steve! (Martin): A Documentary in 2 Pieces 2024 — 3/5
Ugh, I waited to long to talk about this. It wisely splits its documentary into two parts, because Steve Martin are two different men, one silly, one obnoxiously serious. I think by the documentary's end, I can understand them individually, but I still can't quite understand how one became the other. As such, Steve Martin will continue to mystify me. Or maybe to the question "Why do they do it?", I'm reluctant to accept an answer as simple as "Anxiety."
Joker: Folie à Deux — 2.5/5
Fucking hated the first one, but there are redeeming qualities here! Namely, it's the first time I've ever seen in all of her cartoons and comics and movies Harley Quinn as a potent villain. The manipulative narcissist girlfriend! Pushing and pulling gentle and large, in geocentric orbit around a larger star, molding it into her vision. She doesn't pull the trigger, but she certainly puts the gun in the hand and says go bang. "It would make me happy, baby." The movie is at its best when she's in the center, furthering the creation of the idea of the Joker. It's a great view of toxic relationships—of course you stay with her! She likes you! And you like the story she tells about you better than the one the others tell about you. But then the movie sort of discards whatever I thought the story might have been and then beyond that is just generally indulgent with its idea of a musical. I believe with the whole of my being that Todd Phillips only has disdain for the people who give him money. He doesn't give a shit about you. I kind of think the same thing about Joaquin Phoenix. They're evil artists.
Rebel Ridge — 3/5
At around the 35-minute mark, I was fucking PUMPED. That excitement kept me holding on for the next hour and a half, edge of my seat, but it also never meets the magic of that minute mark. I thought I was in for some Jean-Claude shit. But nah, it's one of those 2010s action movies that would rather be an intellectual thriller than a face-puncher. The movie gets bogged down in its true-to-life legalese, and when we finally get back to the action, it's not exactly the action we were promised an hour and a half earlier. Even so, I will respect the movie on a very specific boundary: no killing. I always admired the first 3/4s of 'The Rundown" because here was an action figure who disliked guns, only to have him go on a bullet-fueled rampage in the final quarter. Here, the character stays consistent to his code.
