Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The banality of evil.

1408 - 7/10. Delightfully simple concept that loses itself when it gets too personal. Stranger in a strange room -- that's, like, us, man. Person with his own personal demons in a strange room -- Man...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christian death wish.

Jesus Camp - 4/10. Predictable and not particularly insightful. The movie stands back from its subjects so much, so objectively, that all it does is hold them up and say 'hey, this exists' and, well, I already knew that. The radio guy was the most interesting subject as he calmly and rationally tried to oppose the more fundamentals while still holding on to his own beliefs and, well, the filmmakers chose not to focus on him.


to believe.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen's

Gigantic Head.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Goo' jo'.

Hancock - 5/10. Will Smith's 'playing drunk' is pursing his lips. All surprises are telegraphed. The interesting stuff ends up being the backstory and 'how things work' and that stuff moves fast enough to not give you time to dwell on the inconsistencies, but it also moves too fast to give you enough time to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The language of our culture

no longer describes real life.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

If it’s a life of possibilities

that pulls you away, that claws and tears and challenges you to stay, well, then --
if it’s a life of possibilities that you’ve gotta live then don’t be surprised when they don’t remember you or simply don’t want to.

A hobo spider.

Haha, I don't have a job.

Taking what you do unintentionally.

And learning to do it intentionally.


Shorty make 'em laff.

Run ragged.

Plum tired.

Just another


Why is it that when I put things on my butt.

They alway smell like dookie.

I'm-a poot in my chair.

I'm-a keep pootin' in this chair.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

It's the ones who've cracked

that the light shines through.


who continue to look at you after you've finished saying something, as though you have something else to say.



Yes We Can.

Have 0% APR financing.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Air travel.


1 ride to the airport
2 bye
3 welcome aboard
4 takeoff
5 and from above
6 and from below
7 bump
8 down, down, down
9 chumming the ocean

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


About issues.

In his right hand:


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Well, man, I'll.

I'll see ya.

Monday, December 15, 2008


The Spiderwick Chronicles - 3/10. Shit.

I gotta remember.

Same way twice.

Prince Caspian - 6/10. All things through Jesus, y'all. For two hours, it's a solid yarn, points better than its fucking awful predecessor, three of four kids having learned how to behave on film and there's even an odd amount of humor, and then the fucking, you know, hand of god shows up and let's not do this again.


Horton Hears A Who - 7/10. Jim Carrey plays an overly-endearing version of Aladdin's Genie. To, er, explain things: in Aladdin, the Genie was manic because he was trapped in a hole for, uh, a thousand years or something and he also wanted his freedom or something and what I'm saying is that's an excuse to be a little excited and to perhaps fly off the handle. The mayor's frantic because his whole world's being turned upside down and so, since he's not given a reason, Horton's just sort of annoying because that's the way we do things, all right. It's not sincere. The best moments are stuffed between the bigger moments. Reaction shots, throwaway lines, and Katie, who is the character find of forever. The bigger the movie tries to be, the less it works and, well, it just shouldn't have tried so hard. Also, there seems to be some sort of anti-secular message that's replaced its anti-racist message and, uh, i'm not into that Jesus shit, all right?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I can be a little cold,

but you can be so cruel.

Friday, December 12, 2008

A face like a square

being pushed through a circle.

Tight pants

like an X-Ray scan.

If you ain't livin', then you dyin', man.

You dyin'.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

As a young man,

I noticed I could see quite well with my eyes closed.

You have to understand.

I don't mean anything by it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Love story

at the end of the world.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I carry my friendships like I burden illness.

I hold my breath and hope that it goes away.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Egg falls on rock.

JCVD - 8.5/10. I've been going on and off in recent months about the autonomy of a single piece of... art and how, unless otherwise noted, everything should be looked at as independent and self-containing and all the satisfaction you find comes from within it and not from the director or actor or artist's total career of work. Judging every Woody Allen movie based on previous Woody Allen movies, for example. And this movie is the gold star hanging on the end of just how wrong I am. Jean-Claude plays the role of the end of a lifetime and is just about the most empathetic thing I've seen on screen. If not the best movie this year, then a very humble second, alongside what should, in a perfect world, be a Best Actor nod.

I regret to inform you:

It wasn't a rock. It was a rock lobster.

Excuse me, friend.

Let me lean on you for some of them eggroll.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

When they put the lightswitches on sideways.

They always tryin' to fuck with me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Things I am going to do to your body:


If that don't beat all.

A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures - 8/10. The star attempts to contact all of his old girlfriends to see why he's such a bugger. The interviews for the most don't really lead anywhere because he's something awful a journalist and he can't seem to lay out a truly objective conversation which might provide honest or even insightful answers. The best thing he can do to see why he's such an awful but oddly lothario-ish boyfriend is to look at his movie: it's lazy, it's disingenuous, it gets sidetracked by its penis, and it's a bit of a twat, but man, it is delightful.

For her...

...I can be a hero!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It is written.

Slumdog Millionaire - 8/10. This a love story, y'all. My empty threat: The movie's flaw as I can see it is that, in general, when movies start with children, you grow to love those children, and when those children change actors for later periods, you don't see them as the same person. It's a new person with the same character's name. Think Cinema Paradiso and how Toto the teenager is not the Toto you fell in love with. Or the first half of Persepolis versus the second half. It's not impossible to overcome this, I mean - as you see Salim, the lesser brother, grow up, who he's become is entirely connected to who he was and the decisions he made to get him there while Jamal, the main, in contrast, goes from this incredibly charming rogue to a fairly somber young man, which is, uh, intentional, I guess, but it's not the character you loved. Instead, he has become A Leading Man Who Has Nothing To Offer But His Love For A Girl, and since when was that enough? Empty threat. Good movie. Tell your friends.

So yes. Kung-Fu Panda is still the best movie of the year.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Horrible accidents are God's way of saying

'Hey, man.'

I listen to music.

I'm a cool guy.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Growing up.

Changing everything anyone ever liked about you anyway.

I figured out what that zoo smell is.

It is my butt.

Monday, December 1, 2008