Sunday, September 28, 2008

One may do that only as an adult.

Sixteen Candles - 7/10. Yep.


Hoodwinked - 3/10. Nope.

Be a good boy, Ronnie.

Little Children - 7/10. Suburbia is laid on pretty thick, which makes for it being occasionally surprisingly funny, but it also works against it. It seems like it only scratches the surface and so there's a hollow center that keeps me from becoming completely involved, except for Jackie Earle Haley, who is fantastic as a guy who doesn't embrace who he is, but doesn't deny it either.

It is not enough to like a film.

One must like it for the right reasons.

A little about me:

- Morally bankrupt.
- Sexy firefighter.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Genuine son of a bitch.

You're not the one who let me down.

But thanks for offering.

I'm so fucking self-indulgent

to think you'd like this song.

The world around me.

Do what now?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Favorite part of the debate.

Jim Lehrer: What would you do if your son was at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor, 'cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money, and his daddy's gone so we're smokin' rock now, in and out of lock down, I aint gotta job now, so for you this is just a good time but for me this is what I call life?

Obama: I'm... I'm sorry, what was the question?

Mine is only pain.

"Fulcanelli was determined to perfect an invention which would provide him with the key to eternal life. He was to name it... the Cronos device. 400 years later, one night in 1937, part of the vault in a building collapsed. Among the victims was a man of strange skin, the color of marble in moonlight. His chest mortally pierced, his last words... Suo tempore."

Cronos - 7/10. A man-made-younger-by-weird-scarab-thing licking blood off a bathroom floor to slake his thirst is creepy. And then there's an alabaster man who tries to seek revenge against the man-who-would-also-have-it, who cares. Guillermo always seems to shoot himself in the foot when he reaches too far into fantasy (especially when he's already got a pretty sweet set-up), and the show's no different here. Take the first half, leave the rest.

You've got a tattoo that says 'Fuck the world.'

Stranger Than Fiction - 7/10. Great premise and the movie somehow tries to over-compensate for it? Stylistically overdone. The look of the movie tries to be more clever than the setup. Otherwise, it ends up not being as sharp as you'd like. Basically some seize-the-day shit, whatever. Maggie Gyllenhaal is more adorable since that movie where she showed her boobs, but she's just a plot device and don't mean a thang. The movie eventually can't crawl out of the corner it's written itself into, and it shouldn't, but it still tries. I feel like it's a movie you could go back in and re-edit and it's points better than it is. Accept that he's a normal guy who is not secretly interesting if he'd just shed this corporate cloth, and that his death means more to other people than his life ever will.

I'm not set up to mold hard rubbers.

Burn After Reading - 5/10. Nope! Everyone involved tries to wring every drop out of underwritten characters. Thematically similar to Blood Simple, except add government blundering on top of it. Brad Pitt manages to out-overact everyone to the point where he's likeable again. J.K. Simmons steals the show by being as tired of dealing with the movie as I was.

Now when I speak of her coloration, I refer to the summation of all her principles and beliefs.

This I endeavored to ignore.

Fuck yeah.


Infatuation with a girl

in the food-service industry.

I spied a startling example of female.

She and I thus exchanged words:

God bless the curious

and incurious alike.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I didn't do anything today.

Then I took a nap.

Sunday, September 21, 2008



Friday, September 19, 2008

A routine

I enjoy.

"In the world's population,

not one person is an extra; they are all the lead in their own story."

I disagree.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Seeing your babies come to life.

There are no words.

I stayed up all night

playing Canasta again.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Goddamn it.

I'll play my favorite song again.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


You believe in something.

It is stupid

and now so am I.

But what I really think

is a lot less interesting.

He piped his tom-twiddler and flapped his dim-wangle

(I looked up the facts to write this).

Saturday, September 13, 2008

High school graduates.

4-Piece McNuggets - $1.00
10-Piece McNuggets - $4.69
3 4-Piece McNuggets (12 total) - $3.00

Everybody make nice

and pretend we're not disgusted with each other's beliefs.

Friday, September 12, 2008

But whatever he is, toots, you'll have to stick.

He'll give you no out as I did.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Diagnosing myself on the internet.

Patellar tendonitis.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

A pile of stuff.

Black Christmas - 3/10. A severe lack of titties.

The Devil Wears Prada - 6.5/10. Anne Hathaway, you are a fine bitch.

Tropic Thunder - 6.5/10. Holy shit Robert Downey, Jr.


I would hate to think of what your idea of a personality is,
but I like your new song.

Also, I passed you on the street once. Our eyes met. For a moment, we were one.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

She took his soda pop.

There was nothing left.

Friday, September 5, 2008


The internet.

Get the ball in the hole, watch the piggy roll.

Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans - 9/10. F.W. Murnau. Fantastic. It says in the beginning that it isn't an unheard-of story and, yeah, there's nothing here that hasn't been seen before, but the movie succeeds in how masterfully it puts it all together. It goes from suspense to romance to surreal to comedy to tearjerker without batting an eye, without screwing it up, and the music with it. It is a marvel of movie-making.

Nobody ever brings anything small into a bar.

Harvey - 6.5/10. The first half has all the side-effects of a movie made out of a play. 'Arsenic and Old Lace' (which apparently stars the same awful actress) and 'Bringing Up Baby'-style miscommunications and careful missed connections, loud and obnoxious characters who can't shut up for the second it takes to further the plot. And then Jimmy Stewart, playing a more earnest version of the drunk bit from 'Philadelphia Story,' by just standing there, forces the movie to slow to his pace. Once it stops trying to play for laughs (when Harvey's not on screen), it becomes genuine and warming. The rabbit's no good, but the talking about the rabbit is the best part of it.


: to move in a lively manner often with an exaggerated or affected action


1 : to toot gently, repeatedly, or continuously

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Sorry we hurt your field, mister.

A Hard Day's Night - 7.5/10. I don't get off on their music, but they're sure fun, aren't they. They say fun things, they do fun things, and that's the story for the day. The musical interludes, on the most, get in the way of them saying and doing fun things. I like Ringo the best.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

You do bring out the devil in me.

Terms of Endearment - 7/10. It feels breezy and incomplete and I don't really get the damn thing, but it's fun to watch?


Steamboat Bill, Jr. - 4/10. Buster Keaton. The famous cyclone/building-falling-on-him sequence, which turns out to be a great scene in a bad movie. The build-up is slow and unnecessary getting to the stunts and, even then, Buster lacks panache.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Attn: Potential employers.

Click click, motherfuckers.

I don't mean to 'push my weight around'

but I own a gun.

When I have a problem,

I show them my gun.

I've got my gun pointed at the monitor.

Don't you fucking move.

I need to be in a firefight

really freakin' bad.

Our people once were warriors.

Last of the Mohicans - 2/10. Yeah, I didn't pay attention to you at all, but you did make me want to play with my gun.

I've taken to just sitting

with my gun in my lap.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Feed me, Seymour.

Little Shop of Horrors - 7/10. The Roger Corman version. Bit part by Jack Nicholson in his first feature. Charming! Not a far cry from the remake in how purely fun it is. Jack Nicholson is the only thing out of place.

Forget it, Jake.

It's Digiorno's.

Now imagine she was a white girl.

Adam's Rib - 9/10. Holy shit, this was *darling.* I'm not big on Spencer Tracy and I avoided the Tracy/Hepburn get-togethers because I feared his terrible commonplace-ness would fuck with her radiance, but he has this wonderful effect on her -- instead of just glowing, she comes off as warm, and she succeeds in making him something worth admiring. My god, they are beautiful together. Fucking shit. Christ. The ending isn't as tight as I would've liked but fuck that shit, I don't give a fuck, this was a joy to watch. I like movies like this. Please make more of them. And Judy Holliday was a doll.

I watched the end of M*A*S*H.

I cried again.