Saturday, December 29, 2007

I left the erron on.

Hairspray (The Musical) - 8.5/10. The humor's a lot more understated than anything I'd expect with John Waters' name on it, it's dirty and innocent, mostly thanks to its star, Nikki Blonski, who has the most genuine smile, John Travolta's accent is hilarious, Michelle Pfeiffer is evil, and it makes use of the dullness in Zac Efron's eyes. Probably my favorite movie of the past year?

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I want to pee on you?

Live Free or Die Hard - 5/10. Script by committee.

Monday, December 24, 2007

if we don't get no toll, then we can't eat no rolls.

stardust - 8/10. yeah, i enjoyed the fuck out of this.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

VH1's Top 100 Songs of the 90's.

I don't think we like things
so much as we like talking about things.

I think things exist so that we can talk about them.

Thanks for listening,

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Telling.

Me: I've lost so many friends tonight.
Scooter: Well, that's what you do.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.

I don't know, I wasn't paying attention, I was playing with my fonts.

My current favorites are Orator and Bell Gothic. Yay!

Monday, December 17, 2007

A poem.

Last night, your cat sang you a little tune;
He said he loved you more than I do.

- some song, I can't remember which.

David Shrigley.

I'm gonna miss this town.


Watchin' movies and shit.

Havin' a good time.

I Am Legend - 6.5/10. Fun for a bit, leads nowhere. Harumph.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Recent photos.

A poem.

In a whirl, a little girl ate a hippopotamus.
Don't laugh, she got a stomachache.

- Unknown.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

War is the sea I swim in.

Golden Compass - 7/10. There's this fight, between these two bears, and.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Self-control.

I'm working on it.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Moderation.

Not a fan.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Mist

The Langoliers/10.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

No Country For Old Men

Idon'tknow/10.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Ko-yahn-ihs-scot-see

Koyaanisqatsi - 7.5/10. Koyaanisqatsi - A state of life that calls for another state of living. Fucking... weird little movie. A series of visual sequences that seems to follow a linear sequence of no manmade to all manmade. You could probably imply what you want out of it, but that definition up there keeps you focused. It basically ends up being one long, incredible music video. Philip Glass plays throughout and it's fucking... enthralling. There is no plot, no characters, but the music builds and builds to this incredible tension and and and. It's an experience? What?


_______________________________________
By: narbes on 11/28/2007 1:57:36 AM

i like it when the camera zooms out from a metropolitan sprawl and we see photographs of cities taken from satellites, then we are shown photographs of microprocessors, and suddenly the metaphor becomes clear.
_______________________________________


Sometimes I hate myself.

Monday, November 26, 2007

In my vanity, I thought I could make you love me.

the new world - 6/10. caricatures. one of those period piece romances where they don't speak or say anything interesting but just look at each other a lot. it gets good approximately two hours in when it becomes about what it takes to let go of an old love and try something new with someone else, with both of them realizing it won't be as good as the other one. that was interesting to me.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

100th post bonanza!

Things I've learned about myself:

I'm not very interesting.

:(

It's sad to fall asleep.

It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone.

- that french movie.

Thanksgiving movie marathon!!!

jacob's ladder - 6/10. p s y c h o l o g i c a l t h r i l l e r. there is about a 15 minute stretch which is incredibly interesting, but the movie blows it by one, trying to rationalize what's happening instead of letting it be bizarre and two, by throwing that to the wind for the sake of a surprise ending. kin to that movie where william hurt throws himself at a wall.

fantastic four: rise of the silver surfer - 4/10. listen, the first one was light fun. it was breezy. the second one is more of that, except it doesn't even try to pretend to be more than it is. it exists so a character everybody thinks is cool can appear in a movie.

walking tall - 5/10. the one with the rock. there is no reason for this movie to exist. it is taking up space.


i'm tired of watching movies.

i don't think i'm gonna do it anymore.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

It'd probably be annoying.

the darjeeling limited - as an avid hater of everything wes anderson does, i can tell you this: i enjoyed it. it seemed to make light of the wes anderson tropes and even had a main character who seemed annoyed by the typical wes anderson character. i don't know if it was intentional, but it was how i interpreted it. it's a nothing of a movie - light and inconsequential, but moving all the same. i predict his next movie will finally be different from what's come before. 7.5/10.

also, i had been drinking.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The future of city living.

pink flamingos - 7/10. crazy, filthy texas chainsaw massacre. i knew about the poop scene but i was pleasantly surprised to find out that it wasn't the worst thing in the movie. hilarious narration. should've been about a half hour shorter - scenes tended to run long.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A new name for everything.

"For us to live and die properly, things have to be named properly. Let us reclaim our words."

- John Berger

Friday, November 16, 2007

Rap represented in mathematical charts and graphs.




http://www.jamphat.com/rap/

"So you get to forget? That is heaven."

after life - 7.5/10. Korean. A weird experiment, half documentary, half movie. A group of people are brought to a waystation between life and death in order to determine which memory they want to relive over and over for the rest of their life, with some of the people being not actors, recounting real memories, and then having them recreated to take with them. There's a plot weaved through, about the potential love between two of the waystation workers, and it's strong, but just the simple fact that it's two hours of people recounting their favorite moments, these stupid, small moments - it can't help but to get to me.

I am Shiva, the God of death.

michael clayton - don'twatchthiswhenyou'rehalfasleep/10. of what i could follow, it didn't seem to be anything but a darker 'erin brockovich.'

Thursday, November 15, 2007

For Dana.



R.I.P., Dana.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

It is preferable not to travel with a dead man.

dead man - 8/10. johnny depp, jim jarmusch, notable sides. a journey movie. slow and plodding, but it's pretty much fantastic. basically, a prissy boy who doesn't realize he's already dead travels to stay alive and changes and hardens into the person everyone else thinks they're chasing. often surreal, similar in spirit to 'night of the hunter,' also with robert mitchum, also fantastic.

A website dedicated to stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm

Excerpt:
________________________
I start at the ankles and work up. I am like a spider binding him in my gossamer web. I do it tight with several layers. Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in cling-film. The pleasure is unexampled.

'You are completely wrapped in cling-film,' I say.

'You win the bet,' says Roy, muffled. 'Now unwrap me.'

'Not for several hours.'

'Ah.'
________________________

http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm


The internet, ladies and gentlemen.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Seymour Sued Over Noisy House Parties

Actress Jane Seymour will face her British neighbors in court this week after locals complained about the "raucous" late-night parties held at her mansion in Bath, England. The former Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, 56, holds a 24-hour entertainment license for the country home - but residents claim the round-the-clock gatherings are disturbing the peace of the area.



Typical.

in other news,

i don't plan on hating 'no country for old men.'

my little pony.

1 - Being courageous is easy when you're helping someone.
2 - Just because you look like a monster doesn't mean you are a monster.
3 - Spiders are ticklish.

1,2,3/10.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

my adidas.

just for kicks - 7/10. a documentary on the history of sneaks and the sneaker hunter/collector culture. it's basically what our cultural exploration class should be. i now hold sneakers responsible for the decline of civilization.

roll call:

1 cary grant
2 paul newman
3 peter o'toole

how to steal a million - 5.5/10. a waste of peter o'toole and audrey hepburn together. they're dolls, but the writing isn't as funny and fast-paced as we'd all like it to be. way too light for the running time.

Monday, November 5, 2007

How to beat Gaurav at ping pong:

top spin
top spin
top spin
top spin
back spin

Monday, October 29, 2007

i'll have you know:

pineapple-orange juice make a bitch drop her panties.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Please, Hammer.

casino royale - 6.5/10. starts off damn exciting, with a cool callousness running through it, but it's not long before i have no idea what the fuck is going on, a wasted chance at a cool bad guy, and a bookend storyline that couldn't be made to fit into the main storyline.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The sky is pocked with stars. What eyes the wise men must have had to see a new one in so many.

the lion in winter - 8.5/10. based on a play, so they don't talk like real people, but peter o'toole and katharine hepburn aren't real people. incredibly tense for the length of it as king henry ii (o'toole) tries to choose among his undesirable sons as to who is to be king. it's basically a violent, dysfunctional family drama where blah blah blah the hatred everyone has for each other only matches their love blah blah blah

Friday, October 5, 2007

Almond Joy's got nuts.

Mounds don't.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

nacho cheesier.


shoplifting seagull.

haha

you farted

Saturday, September 22, 2007

bitches ain't shit.

the name of the rose - 4/10. procedural crime drama with monks. zzz.

a man for all seasons - 6.5/10. a Job story. robert shaw's brief stint as king henry viii is the only lively bit in the movie. the rest of it is occupied by a stiff shakespearean actor who gets acclaim because he articulates his words and has a power in his voice no matter what he's saying. an actor that looks like he's acting. the subject matter interests me - thomas more refuses to accept the king's marriage to anne boleyn, but the king values his acceptance - but there is never any real struggle inside thomas more. his commitment to god is unfaltering and never questioned. as other reviews point out, it amounts to a chess match between two sides trying to outwit the other, but thomas more is always far smarter and the other side has to cheat. all i wanted was for thomas more to show some sign of weakness before he proved how strong he was.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

poo butt.

3:10 to yuma - 6.5/10. i generally don't get westerns and i can't get behind the conceit of this one, which is basically 'let's get twenty people killed to get this one guy to this place where he's gonna die anyway.'

Saturday, September 8, 2007

cantaloupe.

true romance - 7.5/10. there's a complete lack of cynicism in the romance which makes me like the movie even as it slowly becomes more and more typical.

Friday, September 7, 2007

they're not going up there to fish.

slapshot - 3/10. i watched this a long time ago and thought it was bad. i thought i might be wrong.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

things i've learned:

if jesus wants to appear on a dogs butt hes gonna appear on a dogs butt

Can you see Jesus?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

fuzzy ideas.

time bandits - 6.5/10. not as clever or imaginative as it would like itself to be. still, it's amiable. watch baron munchausen instead. total 8.5/10 there.

breathless - 8.5/10. i'm less good explaining why i like something as to why i don't like something. it's full of life.

Monday, September 3, 2007

gussied up.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

man survives.

http://www.reuters.com/news/video/videoStory?videoId=64240

double nickles on the dime.

we jam econo: the story of the minutemen - 7/10. it's interesting to me that a couple of dudes who didn't seem to really know what they were doing were capable of doing something completely new.

Monday, August 27, 2007

yay internet.

what dreams may come - 5/10. i remember watching part of it a long time ago and hating it to the point of not finishing it. while i don't remember why i hate it, it's still not very good. a lot of i-love-yous and hugs and kisses and crying and easy sentimentality, but i never actually believe any of it. it's all very procedural and maudlin.

Friday, August 24, 2007

meretricious is a new word i've learned.

if... - 5/10. i feel like i'm missing something, like it's responding to some cultural event in england, except i think what it's responding to is still relevant. so maybe it's just a violent school-boy fantasy. i don't know.

Monday, August 20, 2007

I bought a 13-year old girl a hookah.

If I had told her no, she wouldn't think I was cool anymore.

The finest silk of choicest hue.

ugetsu - 3/10. jesus christ boring. it states its case early as being about greed and it is and it is and it is, except the moral lesson feels suffocating rather than inspiring. why is this supposed to be good?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

j;lkj;afd

reno 911: miami - 6/10. it's friendly but rarely actually funny.

down down down.

walk the line - 7.5/10. it's good because there's a focus, which is the pretty righteous love story, but it occasionally gets bogged down in 'i'm sorry, daddy.'

Saturday, August 18, 2007

shit, y'all.

superbad - 8/10. it's what clerks 2 tried to do with it just being a love story between friends, except this was funny in all the ways clerks 2 is not. the fat kid yells a lot and it gets on my nerves and some of the characters are too quirky for the movie's sake, but shit, y'all, it was funny.

Friday, August 17, 2007

chancer

n. a scheming opportunist.

And for my next trick.

Yo-yo master Roger Pimental and his lovely assistant.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Countdown to not going to Sandusky, Ohio.

Here's a sneak peak:



Special thanks to Tor for making this all possible.

More can be found here.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I don't remember where I found these.








But I like them.

Wallet/Notebook.

I live in the future.

If Kanye West sells more records than me, I'll no longer write music.

http://www.thehotjoints.com/2007/08/10/50-cent-if-kanye-west-sells-more-records-than-me-ill-no-longer-write-music/

------------------------------
“Put it like this,” 50 told SOHH. “Let’s raise the stakes. If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I’ll no longer write music. I’ll write music and work with my other artists, but I won’t put out any more solo albums.
------------------------------

I know what I'm doing September 11th.

Also, I'm pissed, because I was going to name my site thehotjoints.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Attn: rice

Be more interesting.

Friday, August 10, 2007

327922314

when i was little i used to poop behind a tree in my backyard.

- grouphug

guess what?

simpsons - 6.5/10.

it's only half funny, but the half that isn't funny doesn't make me feel bad for laughing at the half that is funny. they should've traded less jokes for consistency. and it was just sort of nice seeing the simpsons on the big screen. i'm easy.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I made a post.

Now I can't delete it.

Here:


Jennifer Grey post-nose job > Jennifer Grey pre-nose job.

Dangerous Minds

was initially titled 'My Posse Don't Do Homework.'

Saturday, August 4, 2007

hi.

bourne ultimatum - 7/10. i enjoyed it. its entire purpose seems to be outdoing the other two and i'm not entirely sure it succeeds. it was really cool when the car crashes into his car and you see it from the inside in the first one, so we get five this time. nothing new, just more of what we like. also, wolverine's origin should have been jason bourne's origin. thanks, marvel.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

i saw a movie.

rescue dawn - 6.5/10. it's no big deal.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

This song

is a fucking gem.



So i'm posting it on my blog.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Movies and shit.

apocalypto - 6.5/10. it was made up to be far too mythical for a movie that just ended up being a rescue mission. the last two minutes contribute nothing. in its defense, there is a lot of running.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Call for pricing details.

While supplies last.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

they changed the mcchicken.

i am going to get those fuckers.

Monday, July 23, 2007

i only ever exaggerate to describe things.

hotel rwanda - 7.5/10. from the constant gardner school of hating people for what they've done and being proud of them at the same time, except this and united 93 feel easy. it's easy to be inspired because you're showing something terrible, but it doesn't really try to make a point. the question of foreign intervention is something that should have been raised in both movies but never really was and it's weird, because they both should have made you make polar opposite reactions to the same subject.

i'd just like to use this moment to remind you that the constant gardener is one of the greatest movies ever made.

oh, and sophie okonedo has one of the greatest smiles on the planet.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

EB: At the Movies.

united 93 - 7.5/10. i'm sort of a fan of movies that you know the outcome of and everything is building towards that inevitable conclusion. 'elephant' and the like. but while this was intense and sad, i'm not really sure why it exists.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Shit was intense.

So last night, at the used cd store, I came across a relic of my youth and, in the next two minutes, I had to reconcile my old self with my new self and decide if I was still that person.

I decided I was.

Mother

Tell your children not to walk my way.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Here is my critical analysis of a kid's movie.



harry potter and the order of the phoenix - so far, the harry potter movies have been the definition of light entertainment but, fifth time around, they figured out what they were doing. it's dark, scary, and for the first time, there's a real sense of urgency to everything. just the nature of them taking place over an entire school year meant there was a lot of meandering and crap that didn't have anything to do with anything other than what was introduced may be referenced in one of the later movies and we need to put it in just to make sure, but most everything here seemed to be focused on building to the final battle, which is the most exciting thing any of the movies have come up with. the giant was the only thing that seemed out of place and there was an actual sense of magic that'd been missing from the other movies. 8/10.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

fatty mcgee

i would like to think that my body is falling apart because of hard-partying and having sex with so many women, but it's really just because i eat a lot of fudge rounds.



also, browsing on the internet while eating chips is hard.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Subject line.

Meet the Feebles - 2/10. this movie hurt my head. i've come to the realization that half the movies i watch on netflix aren't because i actually want to see them.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Fries without salt.

Fuck this shit.

The power of the medium.

Luke Cage, hero for hire, to Dr. Doom, world-class sorceror, a scientist on the caliber of Reed Richards, and gypsy ruler of Latveria:



Also, this:



Credit: www.the-isb.com

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

A plea to the American public:

Stop liking things that are bad.

transformers - 4/10. tacky. in a movie about giant fucking robots, there was not one moment that resembled genuine excitement.

Monday, July 2, 2007

A cat watched me poop.

It was oddly comforting. It also reminded me how terribly alone I am.

My other stories about cats:

We once had a cat named Midnight. It was black. I didn't name it. Thinking back, I don't think I ever got to name any of our pets, which probably explains my inability to love any of them. Anyway, she died by getting into my dad's engine when he started it. Oops?

My aunt has a lot of cats and dogs and I think a ferret that fucking woke me up at 6 a.m. every morning by nibbling on my toes. I'd think it was adorable if it wasn't six in the morning and fucking cold because they had trash bags for walls. My aunt once broke her foot and didn't go to the doctor because something to the effect of 'I don't believe in them.' I don't know. My uncle, her husband, doesn't have any teeth and a tommy gun in the attic. Anyway, I don't like visiting there.

I think if I had a cat, I would name him 'cool dude.'

/Post about cats.

By the way, my aunt's name is Bessie.

Any other post requests, you go ahead and let me know.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Superman.

ratatouille - 8.5/10. adorable, but i'm going to nitpick: i would've liked to have seen the movie without the rat being able to talk at all. the movie didn't come alive until linguini picked up the rat and realized the rat could cook without being able to understand it at all. brad bird's shown he can put more humanity into a character who isn't able to speak than most people put into their whole lives, and these parts outweigh the shallow emotions of patton oswalt's thin voice. i'm always a big fan of movies trying to convey as much as possible with saying as little as possible, and i could've used that here, especially in the final emotional speech to himself. i am the biggest brad bird fan, but what he did with one word in 'the iron giant' has been lost in favor of overly-long and overly-saccharine speeches about family and finding the hero inside over these last two movies. before you argue, some of my favorite parts of the movie were the rat talking to gusteau and i still think those parts could have survived with gusteau sort of speaking for the rat. just.. imagine it my way, all right?

also, anton ego is a fantastic villain.



fuck, i love this movie.

also, the way the robot's eyes moved in the preview for 'wall-e' made me wet my pants.

next: a post about cats

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Threesies.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Lazzzerz.



Befriend us at www.myspace.com/lazzzerz.

I hate everything.

Return to Oz - 6/10. There are things in here which are cool and fun (that fucking talking chicken being the main one), but its tv-movie production values means there are too many cartoon-y elements that are ineffective or just plain dumb.

Also, Fairuza Balk is crazy.

A note on Forrest Gump.

Suspension of disbelief.


/Suspension of disbelief.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Our creative director, to us.

"__ WOULD PERSONALLY PUNCH EACH ONE OF US SQUARE IN THE DICK IF WE SUGGESTED THAT WE DESTROY THEIR RIDES. DICKPUNCHES!"

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Someday, I will make a real post.

knocked up - 8/10. hilarious in a bunch-of-dudes-just-talking-about-shit sort of way.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Hey, guys, I watch movies.

the fountain - 8/10. i liked it and i don't know why and me trying to rationalize it would probably be wrong. it's a testament to how good darren aronofsky is in that what could have been sappy and corny in any other hands doesn't come off that way.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

This is what I do.

half nelson - 7.5/10. it was almost about how people can change because they're around people who simply refuse to change, which is an idea i like a lot, but the last ten minutes turns it into a chintzy, cutesy melodrama about how everyone can change if you simply choose to believe.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

By: ass_cobra on 5/29/2007 11:03:32 PM

By: ass_cobra on 5/29/2007 11:03:32 PM

yeah i mean like bon jovi really had a steel horse.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Stop watching bad movies.

audition - 3/10. classic 'bitch-goes-crazy,' except violent, and stupid.

Monday, May 21, 2007

As it turns out,

I don't have swimmer's ear.

Thank you, internet.

My mom's got Starz.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest - 3/10. This movie didn't make a lick of sense, but it had a guy with an octopus for a face, fuck.

Selena: The Movie - 2/10. I like those two songs she sings at the end, that bitch was talented, fuck.

Midnight Cowboy - 7.5/10. I was prepared to compare this to 'Of Mice and Men' except both guys are the retarded guy, but the summary at amazon.com beat me to it, fuck.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

For all that learning gets me, I basically like dick and fart jokes.

This is a poem from the internet.


diffrnent one 4 mah gurl hannah. i fricken love u

n- not payen 4 college
a- always drinken/bein drunk
t- teepees n shit
i- i love her
v- vagina always smel nice
e- earnin her casino monies

p- purchased land w/ beads
r- ridin horses n shit, heritage
i- in love w/ her so fricken bad
d- destined 2 live on reservation
e- eagle feather headress

thats it. love u gurl

Monday, May 14, 2007

Movie review!

the notebook - 5.5/10. this is a movie without any hidden meaning.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Movie reviews!

idiocracy - 4.5/10. a really likeable but pretty much unfunny version of an idea that i like.

hot fuzz - 8.5/10. shit was tops.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Keep watching.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

A fucking moose. The pictures are messed up. I'll fix it later. Get off my back.

I made an ad around a picture of a moose. It was, to that point, my favorite thing I had done. I imagined Eggland's Best as an overprotective mother who takes a little too much credit for their son's success. I don't know what they are anymore, but that moose is pretty great.








As you can see, the third one is retarded.
The next assignment was to take the same assignment and re-art direct it. So that's what I did. I kept the copy and took out anything that made the ads interesting.







As you can see, the third one returned to being awesome so I decided to include it in the original set of three. I prefer the art direction above but for the sake of fitting it in, I, uh, changed it to fit in.



And a non-traditional. It's a bumper sticker. I'm simple.



The end.

A picture of a guy

with his balls on the floor.



I would rather have this picture and not need it than need it and not have it.

Type poster.

Other people made shapes and shit.

It's so easy,

even a low-paid, menial labor worker could do it. I will not make excuses for myself. I don't know what the fuck was happening with the design. I did billboards for these, also. They are the most useless fucking things.







The only good thing about these is that Carl doesn't have a last name and one of the workers is named after a friend who I make fun of for working a low-paying, menial labor job. I am a bad person.

The worst fucking thing.

This is Sechler's Pickles. These are the worst ads I could possibly have ever done. I re-did them for final review. I'm just showing these for the sake of full disclosure. It got really bad before it got good again.







The non-traditional idea was to have grocery store tiles splattered throughout the store that gradually introduced you to all the different flavors. This was not a good time for me.

Aqualisa Quartz.

Copywriter: Natalie Shaw
Co-Art Director: Jill Lin (I designed these while she did the commercial storyboards. A commercial was actually made. I don't think a copy exists. That is probably for the best)
Person who wrote the creative brief, I'm not sure what they are: Katie Facada

For Don Just's class and the first time I actually worked with a copywriter outside of the commercial class, but those don't count.

Aqualisa is a shower system that lets you set the temperature before you get in. It takes out the unpredictability of taking a shower. I was more proud of these ads than I really had any right to be.





Blue Tip Villas.

This was a fake product. We don't know why it was fake. We didn't know solid details about the product. Nothing good came out of it and by the end of the semester, the whole thing was washed over. We were also supposed to make a brochure for the fake product. It was lazily designed. After the Jazz outing, I decided I didn't want to be a designer. Part of this copy was stolen from a 'The Broadways' song.



A non-traditional idea that accompanied this, that at least Jill thought was cool, were ads on sidewalks outside of brownstones and apartment complexes that read 'No one wakes up to the thought of warm concrete between their toes.'

You tell 'em, E.B.

A conversation with Dana.

'I am trying to rationalize an electric jug.'

- Me, on the subject of grits, and an ad that I will eventually make because I think it is adorable.

Red Bull.

We were all pretty much forced into 'guys in their mid-30s who are trying to impress their boss.' This is the result. I liked the layout so much that it ended up being my style for the rest of the semester. Big type over a picture. That's all I know how to do.



We ended up doing Red Bull ads for Don Just's class. They were fairly awful and I lost them. I apologize for nothing.

One cool idea that came out of it was a non-traditional brochure/PDA something-or-other that featured city shortcuts so that people could get where they're going faster. Please don't steal it.

I should be more ashamed of these than I am.

Herewith, every ad I've produced so far in chronological order.

Assignment: Take a bad ad and make a better one.

I came to Adcenter with the perception I was a terrible designer and wanted to prove that I could design something. Unfortunately, all this is is a redesign. Is is. I don't know. In my head, I felt like I had a concept behind it. That jazz was more than a sound, it was a feeling and la de da, now it's in a soda. I am trying to rationalize a bad ad. I'll stop.

The bad ad:



The made a better one: