Labor to keep alive in your breast

that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

— George Washington, The Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation, though likely stolen from a previous text

I said I had no family. I didn't say I had an empty apartment.

The Apartment – 3.5/5

I want to say that The Apartment does something new for its time, but I've got no fucking idea what was happening at the time. I want to say it's an inversion of the casual romantic comedy endemic to the era: sputtering lover caught in the cross-fire, an unexpected third corner in a love triangle — caught up in a lark, buffoonery, antics — and then upsetting the formula with the very real consequences of such a casual thing as love. Almost like taking 'The Sweet Smell of Success' and saying 'I'll turn it into a comedy.' (I'd like to say that though I don't remember that movie as much as I remember liking it, and liking the darkness inside it.) There's a darkness here, too, and that's what makes it commendable. It feels like it may have been something new for its time. It feels like commentary. But maybe the timeframe doesn't matter – it still feels like something new. The commentary still works. It's just too bad they pair up at the end. No real consequences, which makes it too much like all those other inconsequential things of the era. A crowd-pleasing choice, not a brave one.

I may have heard a crime.

Kimi - 3/5

In the spirit of this year being the year I figure out certain directors — Steven Soderbergh's Kimi is a prime example of what I like and what I don't like about the director. His movies have the illusion of being bigger than they are, but they're almost always these small things. He's an Important Director who makes unimportant objects. It feels like he's less concerned with greatness and more interested in teasing the edges of a genre. How much can you play with serious? What's the right balance of tight and loose? Is a crime as rotten if it's charming? He's just here to fuck around and see what happens in the edit. This movie was fine, it was fun, and its use of sound was great — but I think more importantly it opens me up to how to watch Soderbergh movies: a light afternoon watch, a touch of something special, but you're welcome to walk to the kitchen and grab a snack without missing anything substantial. He's just continually recreating the spirit of Smokey and the Bandit. There's plenty of room for movies like that.

Love is not love.

Bros – 3.5/5

Bros has the good and bad present within the church of latter-day Apatow. Way too long, way too reliant on what used to feel like a sentimental underbelly but has become a sentimental überbelly. The good that he's always relied on is in attaching a simple premise on a magnetic personality—and man, is Billy Eichner a magnet; a clear north and south pole that can attract and/or repel. Easy to love, easy to hate. He gets upset with people, he yells at people, he complains about everything. He is difficult. And so seeing him tender and dewy-eyed and affectionate is interesting. It's interesting! And then, to do as the movie promised, to show a sweet and sincere love story between two men while being very upfront and casual about blowjobs and threesomes and foursomes and thrusting and tops and bottoms and casual steroid use and very 'this is normal' while exploring the very as-never-seen-before-on-TV way that gay people have sex... my friends, this film is transgressive!! It really is something new that I have not seen in all my days. There's an easiness to it that sits on top of and upends all of the hard work to get here. From what I can tell, the movie failed on traditional metrics, maybe—probably—because it's not as interesting or as funny as it could be on a storytelling front, but friends and fellow followers of the cinematic arts, this movie is a needle moved further to the right. Praise be.

Happily ever after.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck — 2/5

Adam Curtis by way of Buzzfeed. 13 Stories That Will Make You Go A-Wha-Huh?! Part video essay, part narration of own life, one of which at least is interesting, neither of which come together in any cathartic way. To spoil the lesson: it's not about giving no fucks, it's about understanding the overriding fuck to give, so that all other fucks may fade away. Mark Manson is a poor preacher for a good gospel. 

I believe that when Christ returns, it's gonna be beautiful.

The Whale – 2.5/5

We judge fat people because it distracts us from our own lives? Okay. They have a hole that no amount of food can fill, and they, in turn, satiate our own hunger for the same. But to get there, we pass slowly—trudgingly—through this maudlin one-room stage. It's uninventive. It's poorly acted. It's Brendan Fraser in a fat suit. It's Hallmark optimism in the face of an uncompromising, unapproachable hunger. Give me something more substantial, says the hole in the center of existence. Feed me. Charlie wants to see one right thing in his life, so puts all his weight on an irredeemable piece of shit. But I'm honestly not sure if we're really supposed to see the good in her? I am unclear. I feel like Aronofsky wants me to see through the sweat and the fat and the black stains growing on their back, and I can swim just about halfway, seeing an outline in the mist on the hungry sea — is that a shadow of the behemoth coming up for air, or just another in a long line of delusions? Thin line between that and hope, I guess. Charlie is Ahab, not the whale. 

Ugh, fuck, did I just rationalize my way into realizing what this movie is really about? Fuuuuuuuck.

__

Update, from a day later. I do think that I cracked it with that last little bit. Aronofsky's an interesting filmmaker, and credit is due him that he'd make something more than what's on the surface. And so I'm at a crossroads: I did not enjoy my experience of watching The Whale. But in writing my way towards an evaluation, I've written my way towards a reason to re-evaluate. I don't think I'll watch the movie again any time soon, but I have reason now to, someday, give it another chance through another lens. The father, delusional towards what his daughter is. The daughter, delusional towards her chances in life. The mother, and also the enabler, delusional to their parts to play. And the zealot, delusional towards his prince from on high. All of them little Ahabs chasing their own whale of a tale. 

If given a choice,

make a good one.

You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught!

But I'm A Cheerleader – 3/5

This movie rides a line few things can ride. It's a mixture of highly intentional choices mixed with an overall feeling of unintentional. Highly art directed, poorly framed. Bad dialogue, well-delivered. Fun, sometimes boring. It's a campy comedy that's capable of emotional catharsis, which I don't even think John Waters has been capable of outside of the musicalized 'Hairspray'. I think it only accidentally fits into the world the movie is making – of a girl stuck between things. Natasha Lyonne, at that age, fits her character more than I would have expected considering the Cultural Item that she has become. It seems as if in any moment, she might break character. But she doesn't. She rides the line. "You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught!"

The opposite of lost

isn't found.

We've got a squeaker.

Whiplash — 3.5/5

There is a drive, there is an intensity, there is a constant pushing forward that is compelling, arriving at an intentionally frustrating conclusion. It's a car crash, but it leaves you wondering: is it the painful thing that creates an eternally broken person, or the necessary near-death experience that changes someone forever? The answer, as always, as annoyingly, is both. "The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want something badly enough." And when you can't go over it, bang your head hard enough and you'll just go through it. What I struggle with is why I don't like this movie more than I think I should. It's technically well done, it's philosophically ambiguous, it hits a lot of notes. What am I missing? Maybe it looks too much like it's *not* worth it, and I want some equal assurance that it is. Dunno.

Your mind makes it real.

Smile – 4.5/5

Boy, did I enjoy the shit out of this. Trauma as a villain? Yes, sir. The inability to escape trauma no matter how hard you try, how much you distance yourself, how far you push yourself, cursed forever to pass along your hurt to whomever you come into contact with no matter how hard you try not to? Oof. Hurts to arrive there as a conclusion but boy oh boy does the pain feel good. And to top it off, an enduring image of horror: smiling through the pain. The evil spirits are your own thoughts, buried so deep that only a bullet to the brain can reach it.