Need is the excuse

for every betrayal of rational thought.

If you ever decide to play a real human being,

I'd come watch your act.

We asked the captain

what course of action he proposed to take toward a beast so large, terrifying, and unpredictable. He hesitated to answer, and then said judiciously: "I think I shall praise it."

[His] favorite comics are the ones

where the joke is on the reader.

Whatever happened

to Johnny Internets?

Somewhere, in our darkest night,

we made up the story of a man who will never let us down.

Arbeit

macht frei.

Saturday's

for sinning.

Rape

builder.

The production and distribution

of meaning.

Growing up

Alcatraz.

What a strange way to die.

What a strange way to never be.

To say things

and not mean them.

Farting

in a Yankee Candle store.

I didn't too much

want much.

Make it a part of you,

then forget it.

The mind

that has no mind.

Hara hachi bu.

Eating until you are 80% full.

And it wasn't very interesting,

and it wasn't very fun,
but man,
did he fight for her.

I was described

1200 years ago.

It is according to opinions

that we suffer.

Corpses

are improvements.

She was a dull person,

but a sensational invitation to make babies.

How nice –

to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies,

or people just aren't going to want to go on living.

The growing metaphysical void

at the center of my bedroom ceiling.

Don't give a fuck,

'cause motherfucker, that's what I do.