The 2026 Oscar-Nominated Animated Shorts — varied/5
The Three Sisters — fine, 2.5/5
Forevergreen — bad, 2/5
Butterfly — bad, 2/5
The Girl Who Cried Pearls — beautiful, good, and then bad, 3/5
The Retirement Plan — good, 3.5/5
and then a special airing of Eiru, which I enjoyed well enough, 3/5
Overall, and as usual, amazed that these chosen movies are deemed the best we have to offer.
Burlesque — 2.5/5
A silly little thing where a woman of indomitable self-belief enters enter others' orbits, makes their lives better against their will, makes admirers of enemies, lets bad men down gently, and apologizes for nothing. Why would she? Everyone is better for having known her, so as long as that continues to be true, bad actions are then turned good and no questions need be asked of herself. In my future treatise on the Age of Assholes in which we currently reside, 2010 may have been the starting point.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World — 3/5
Exciting Adventures At Sea. Tbf, it made ocean combat seem thrilling, and it made me feel that if I were to be living in the 1800s, reading something like this by candelight, I would be absolutely compelled. But also somewhere between now and when it came out in 2003, I feel like this movie has built a slow burn of cultural appreciation that led me to watch it in the first place, but also led me to believe there was something more here. Not really. It feels like a series of short stories that altogether form a larger story, and I guess that's fine enough 4 me.
F1 — 3/5
All these years later, Hollywood figured out that we like Brad Pitt when he's charming. It's fun! For the first half anyway. But then you start to think that the movie's about more than him, like maybe about teamwork and mentoring new talent, but nah, he outweighs everyone, Kerry Condon the only one who can keep up with him in the charm offensive. He's a movie star, that's what movie stars do, they anchor a big production; sometimes that means slowing it down.
Predator: Badlands — 3/5
Five minutes in, and I realized I had very strong opinions about what this franchise should be. I don't like that they have a name ("Yautja," dafuq), I don't like they have cultural traditions. All I need to know is that these are the baddest dudes alibe (sic). They have cool masks. They hunt for sport. And you are the target. Tell that same story over and over again, and I will keep showing up. But you know what, guys, it won me over!! Broken android and a broken alien trying to be better than what life has dictated for them. It's woke Predator with a manic pixie synthetic girl and it's a little annoying and a lot of fun. The fuck do I know.
Fallout S2 — 2.5/5
The beginning of the season, I was struggling to remember the plot of S1, where we were, why we were. I kept going and new characters popped up and I didn't really know why, new greater enemies just around the corner, a wider world just out of view. By the season finale, the ending of one mystery was just the beginning of another, the show stuck in a perpetual second act, new reasons to put this character here and this character there so that they can meet back up at this third place to go this other place entirely. But it was fun enough to watch? My absolute favorite aspect of this show is its casting, Ella Purnell and Justin Theroux at the center of that. Big eyes and moustache twirls. The promise of the show is a profound mix of silly people in serious times, but it's only really successful in the art direction.
One Last Adventure: The Making of Stranger Things 5 — 2/5
Do I review things like this? Is this part of my remit? I'm here, so I guess so. Listen, I only really watched this because I'm obsessed with the notion that certain people on the show hate certain other people on the show, which is altogether very natural when you view this as a world of coworkers instead of friends, and if you consider the naturally occurring mistakes of growing up in private, much less public. And I sort of got what I wanted, except with the wrong people; instead of focusing on a cast I'd grown attached to, it focuses on the brothers behind it in what feels like something almost like a hit piece. (I'm not sure I even knew what they looked like before this movie? I did not need to know them.) Both seem both involved and detached, busy making plans and then just going through the motions of fulfilling them. A long and boring goodbye not to the show, but to the creators who have abandoned the network that made them famous and must thus be made to look a little unprepared.
