How are you so strong!

Shrinking S2 — 3.5/5

Man, as much as I want to push against it, I fucking love Bill Lawrence's brand of schmaltz. Everything works out well for everyone! If we only made room for new people, they can expand our heart. How lovely. This season, Ted McGinley's Derek stood out as the center of the show. Always genial, always understanding. He is an everyday version of Jason Segal's Jimmy—not forcing people out of their shell, but gently coaxing, pushing here and there, a casual introduction, a piece of advice. If everyone had a Derek, they wouldn't need a therapist. Extending outwards from there, the larger cast continues to come into their own, and it's particularly become a joy to watch Harrison Ford look like he actually enjoys being there.

Ain't I a stinker?

Hundreds of Beavers — 3.5/5

I don't know if I like this movie as much as I admire it. It's so fucking silly, and the force of mind to create something so silly, so throwback, so borderless—and to do it for the length of an entire movie—is a force I admire. I will admit that I got tired of some of the hijinx, in the same way I might have tired of Bugs Bunny beyond a 10 minute segment, but the movie kept me watching out of pure appreciation for what they were doing, and then I was rewarded with a final 20 minute set piece that kept escalating the silliness further and further until I, finally, was able to give in to it totally. It feels bold to claim that a movie with a 1920s sensibility can exist and prosper in a modern climate, and here it is! All art from all time is still applicable. Glory be.

Welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A total acceptance of things you can absolutely change.

Who's afraid of the big, black bat?

Batman Forever — 3/5 (rewatch)

I left the theater when I was 12 years old thinking this was my favorite Batman, and cultural commentary from the schoolyard indicated to me that that was the wrong opinion to have. Here, now, retribution. If you can go full in, embracing Joel Schumacher's 1930's serial vision: it's stupid, and it's fun. This is a fun movie. It's built like an amusement ride and serves its purposes to that end. It, like Mortal Kombat, is the boyhood id, separated from the need to make it worthwhile for adults as well. Why do we like our Batman serious? Because we are adults, and adulthood is for serious people who need to rationalize their childhood interests. It's not a great movie, but it is a playground brawl, smooshing action figures together to see who comes out on top, each figure clearly articulated. Val Kilmer's got the lips, Riddler's got the costumes, Chris O'Donnell's got an earring. Everyone plays their part, though notably I'll call out Tommy Lee Jones for the thing that works the least. He's having fun—the point of the movie—but conveying fun isn't just laughing maniacally; it's taking the role seriously. As anyone who plays with kids knows—childhood games are serious business.

As sick as our secrets.

Juror #2 — 2/5

Once again, I am here to tell the American people that their opinion is wrong. What is the fucking interest in this movie, holy shit. Compelling story synopsis, to be sure, but what lack of artfulness in its creation. No tension, bland performances on top of thin characters, no case to be made for a person's worth or lack thereof. This movie is a surprise to people who haven't watched the past 20 years of Law and Order so think they've found something novel. It's a fun movie to watch and say 'oh, what would you have done?' and I would suggest you go do that instead. Or go instead watch the much superior 'Paranoid Park.' All apologies to Toni Collette and Nicholas Hoult who I continue to enjoy 🙏