Did the lawyer split?

Shoot 'Em Up - 3/10. I don't buy into the notion that if you intend for something to be bad, then you're excused for it being bad. However, when it's over-the-top, which is, uh, different from bad, I guess, it's hilarious. To sum up: when they're shooting people while falling out of a plane, when they're shooting people while having sex, when he's shooting the oil thing so that he can slide through the oil as he's shooting people, it's guilty fun. When they're talking, attempting characterization, or furthering the plot, it is awful.

Thir13en Ghosts - 4/10. It's a Scooby Doo plot and there's so much potential for fun in that which this thing only hints at. I wanted cool ghosts with cool back-stories killing people, and there simply weren't enough people to kill. Also, Matthew Lillard's drool. Apparently, the original 13 Ghosts had special glasses that you had to wear in order to see the ghosts. That is awesome. I only want to make movies where you can put the number in the letters of the title.

TMNT - 5/10. The bad guys:

1) The Immortal.
2) The Immortal's stone generals.
3) 13 immortal monsters.
4) The foot clan and their fill-in leader.
5) The Nightwatcher.
6) Mexican mercenaries.
7) The inability to come together as a team.

An overabundance of bad guys which just means a lot of faceless bad guys. The brunt of the story is on Raphael and Leonardo who are, like, the worst turtles, seriously. Michaelangelo and Donatello are fucking hilarious throughout this thing and there's, what, five minutes of screen time? Fucking. I don't know why they couldn't just put them back into the costumes. Those costumes fucking, they still hold up. Time hasn't aged that shit. Fuck.