We don't get a lot of things to really care about.

Pig – 3/5

I feel like the impetus of this was 'can we start from a premise as stupid as John Wick, and be as well-made?' And it is, and it is. Blood and bullets become herbs and spices. An assassin hotel becomes an underground chef fighting ring. It's a Microsoft Word find-and-replace script. I remember every bullet meal I ever shot cooked. I remember every person I ever killed served. And friends, long-time readers, movie fans—I truly have nothing against this method of moviemaking. Idiocy, taken seriously, is my chef's kiss 😘. It's just that it's taken so seriously. So seriously. There is a balance that was lost. John Wick 2 and 3 showed what a miracle John Wick 1 was. And so here, too, lies another in its shadow.