Phantom of the Opera - 2/5
Schumacker doesn’t know how to make the visuals interesting while they sing. Lots of sets, but no idea how to move the camera around them. Elaborate but uninteresting. You want to know a quick way to ruin a great rock opera of a title song? Accompany it with the dulcet visuals of slowly walking down long passageways. Joel Schumacher from ‘Batman & Robin,’ where the fuck are you when we need you? I wish the whole movie could’ve had that ridicu-seriousness of the drum machines and synth in that song. The ‘this is stupid, but it’s great.’ The improbability of it working. Get those Rocky Horror fucks to make this shit as weird as it’s supposed to be. It’s not horror, it’s not drama; it’s surprisingly deep schlock.